I remember the moment I first held you in my arms, I had shaky arms and a heart that could barely contain itself but there you were: Sophia Julianna.
How is it that such a tiny human has been such an essential part of my being for two years? How did I get so damn lucky?
I didn’t think becoming an aunt for a third time would be life-changing. I didn’t think that a tiny child with big and beautiful brown eyes could alter my entire being in such a monumental way and yet; here we are. These past two years have been absolutely magnificent and there are not enough positive words in the English language to be able to properly describe the pure joy that I’ve experienced since Sophia Julianna entered into this chaotic world.
I can still remember the magical feeling that ran through my body when I first heard her call me “Teti”. The realization that maybe I was making as much as an impact in her tiny little life, as she has made in mine, was a bit overwhelming. The two years that she has existed I have made an effort to actively and positively impact the world. I refuse to allow her to grow up in a broken world and though the world is scarier than it’s ever been, I’m confident that we’re heading in the right direction.
I’m not sure what I did to deserve this tiny being in my life but I promise to be deserving of her love.
Sophia has taught me patience because it is absolutely needed when sometimes she wants to watch “Coco”, sometimes she wants to listen to music, sometimes she wants to go with “Tata” (Grandpa), sometimes she just wants to be around Grandma and sometimes Teti just needs a nap. She has taught me how to live unapologetically, because sure, maybe being self-conscious is still a thing I struggle with but sometimes a dance party in front of strangers is necessary. She has reminded me that laughter is a beautiful part of life because yes, sometimes everyone is screaming at each other but sometimes Sophia just needs to mock Grandma while she pretends to also scream and suddenly everyone is laughing. She is constant reminder of how powerful love is because sometimes I look at her and I could swear my heart feels like it’s about to burst from happiness.
I am the luckiest Teti in all of the land.
Sophia, I don’t know what the future has in store for you and though right now you have a smile permanently displayed on your face at all times, I am sure that heartache will inevitably find its way to you. I promise to hold your hand while you cry (I may even cry with you, you will eventually learn how emotional your Teti is), I promise to attempt to say the right things, I promise to get angry with you and fight for you. I promise to accept every single one of your quirks and I promise that if ever you feel alone, to always be right by your side to remind that you are not. I promise to love you through the confusing, the crazy, the angry and the fighting (you’ll learn that fighting just reminds us how much we love each other in this family). You are going to change this damn world, I am certain of it. Here’s to you chamaca! Two years and counting … Love, your Teti.
