Show of hands; how many of you have openly cried at your work desk while you sat there afraid that someone would walk in on you?
*Julie stands on a chair so that you can see how high her hand is raised*
My emotions live on the surface and though it’s a complicated way to exist, it’s extremely refreshing to survive life while you’re feeling everything all at once. Music constantly breathes new life into me when I feel my energy draining and this past Friday I found an EP that pushed some inspiration into me when I needed it the most. (It also pushed some tears out of my eyes.)
The EP that found its way into my life was, Survive and suddenly I’m wondering how anyone exists without this EP in constant rotation. Okay, so maybe that’s an intense statement; but you guys know that when I fall, I fall hard (I mean not with actual people, because my walls are high and I trust no one, but give me a musician with undeniable talent and you’ll find me supporting their every endeavor) and I have fallen for Jeff Carl’s voice; it’s in the way he breathes beautiful lyrics into every moment of a song and the way he commits his vocals to the emotion being portrayed in each song.
This past month (September) I kept feeling like I was getting signs from The Universe that were telling me that it’s okay to heal from the heartache I went through last year. The Universe is demanding that I let go of the pain and I think that I’m finally listening.
The fist song I listened to from Jeff Carl’s EP was “Survive”; it is somber and peaceful in its delivery, but the message is clear and concise. He doesn’t sugarcoat the dark hole one falls under during depression and the lyrics hit unexpectedly as you listen to the song.
I’ve been all broken, sad of myself.
Outwardly Heaven but inwardly Hell,
Askin’ for open but answerin’ shells,
I am weak. I am weak.
As the song builds, you can feel the intensity in his vocals and every note feels perfectly placed. We need more songs that remind us how to find the light during our darkest moments and “Survive” is the perfect helping hand for anyone in need of a reminder to keep going.
“Did You Really Love Me” comes in with tempo that is more upbeat and you can sense the R&B influence in this song. Songs about unrequited love are my favorite kinds, it’s the most relatable theme and Jeff Carl hits it out of the park with this song.
Did ya really love me? Did ya even know how much I cared?
Did ya really know me? Oh, I’m feelin’ so unprepared.
It’s getting harder to breathe. We had such good, why did you leave?
What did you think that you need that you couldn’t find it in me?
Sometimes people walk out of your life and though they leave chaos and destruction behind, they don’t leave an explanation or an apology in the wake of the mayhem. Sometimes the leaving hurts but the lack of explanation makes the situation feel unbearable. Sometimes you spend a year going back and forth between being okay and falling apart. Sometimes your explanation and apology come in the form of a song and sometimes that song will be “Love Wasted on Me” by Jeff Carl.
You told me to be honest. Well, here’s honesty.
I don’t think I love you quite how you love me.
Don’t search for a reason, ‘cause none you will find.
Believe me, I’ll try for the rest of my life.
Maybe you find it ridiculous that it’s taken me over a year to get over an 8 year friendship that unexpectedly ended, but I find it even more strange that I was expected to not care when my person decided to walk out of my life. Last week I discussed Pink’s song “Beautiful Trauma”, about how the song helped me let go of the hatred and how it reminded me to appreciate the friendship for what it was. Well “Love Wasted on Me” helped me to start letting go of the pain that constantly weighs heavy on my heart. The lyrics are sung with the outmost sincerity; if I close my eyes and sit absolutely still, I can almost feel my heart feeling.
I’m sorry for the love wasted on me.
Am I just a mountain made out of leaves?
I didn’t know just how this would make you bleed,
And I am so sorry.
Jeff Carl has created a beautiful EP and it deserves to be heard over and over and over again. All six songs live in its own Universe but when played back to back they make for a perfect emotional journey.