I’ve had a rough couple of weeks. Life has slowly been chipping away at my self confidence and lately I feel like I’m just about defeated. I am trying to push through the ugly but at the moment, it’s quite difficult to look at the positive in life. The thing is, something has been happening in my life and I keep trying to suppress, suppress, suppress and I can’t keep doing that. I need to bask in my own reality and the reality is: my best friend and I are no longer friends. I’ve deleted his information from my phone (not that, that means anything since I have his number memorized). This blog isn’t about that though; yes, I am extremely sad about the fact that I am now sans bestie but I need to take back control of myself. NO longer should I be feeling sorry for myself because I am an able human being who is in charge of her own destiny. Yes, emotionally I am an absolute wreck but life won’t stop just because I am not emotionally capable of handling things right now. I can lay in bed all day and life will continue to move right past me. So there’s no time to dwell on my misfortunes because there’s a world out there that I need to take over and work needs to get done. My life is full of lists of dreams that I need to accomplish and every day that I dwell in my sadness is another day that I am not fulfilling my dreams. Just a few months ago, I was so full of motivation and confidence, now I can’t even go a full day without crying. FUCK THAT.
This all brings me to the song of the week, this Music Monday I want to talk about America’s Sweetheart by Elle King. This song embodies all of the bad-ass nature I wish I had. Elle King has a beautiful way of motivating and empowering while singing a catchy-ass chorus.
No there ain’t nothing that I gotta prove
You think your words will make me black and blue
But I, I think I’m pretty with these old boots on
I think its funny when I drink too much, hey
You try and change me you can go to hell
‘Cause I don’t want to be nobody else
I like the chip I got in my front teeth
And I got bad tattoos you won’t believe
The first thing I felt when I heard this song was: empowered. Elle King is unapologetic in the portrayal of herself and I am constantly aspiring to gain a little bit of her confidence. My favorite line in the whole song is:
Well they say I’m too loud for this town
So I lit a match and burned it down
It’s been a rough couple of weeks but I am refusing to allow that to break me down. I am pushing past the sadness and getting to the motivation that I need to accomplish my dreams. It can be so easy to just bask in your own self pity sometimes but it can be deteriorating to do it for too long. It’s not easy to push through the sadness, but you have to at least try because life is out there waiting for you. I urge you to turn on “America’s Sweetheart” and have an empowering solo dance party because that sounds like the perfect way to start off your week.
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