So picture this: Mercury is in retrograde, your PMS comes early, your depression decides to show up and you know what you have?
The worst July of your life.
Euphoria has quickly become my latest obsession and while Zendaya and the rest of the cast has blown my mind the entire series, it was on Episode 7 that the biggest personal revelations happened for me. On this episode, Zendaya finds herself in the middle of a manic and depressive state.
The way they intricately showed the slow progression through a manic episode was powerful. From the way it starts by wanting to stay in bed to watch mindless television, to the point of physically being unable to get out of bed when you absolutely need to; it was a glorious episode of television.
Have you ever heard something that you’ve dealt with your entire life described and you somehow understand it for the first time?
The memories really do fade; even when you know that you’re in the middle of a bad episode, even when you know that it will eventually get better, even when all you want is to get out of this feeling; the happiness fades. It’s the most painful part of it all, things that brought you joy suddenly seem unimportant because you forgot where the joy came from.
These stories matter. The fact that Euphoria carefully showcased the complicated ways that depression can present itself, will save a life and I absolutely believe that. Sometimes it’s difficult to put into words what you’re going through, sometimes you’re not really sure what it means that you’ve watched 13 episodes of FRIENDS and have stopped laughing at the funny parts. Sometimes you don’t understand why you’ve obsessed about something in particular for three days and yet. Sometimes your determination to not pee feels childish and the relevance of it all gets lost on you. Sometimes all you need is one episode of television to put things into perspective.
Zendaya was a revelation in this episode; it’s the quiet crying that made it all come together for me. Depression is so often described as loudly falling apart but it usually happens with the silent tears. I have spent countless nights blankly staring at a wall while tears trickle down my face, afraid that someone may walk in while I’m slowly falling apart.
Euphoria is getting a lot of things right and you can add their portrayal of depression in the list of reasons to watch this show.